I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
