When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
