end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize