Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
