I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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