So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
