At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
