i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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