I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
