The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
