I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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