No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
