Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
