If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
