Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize