omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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