i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You're like the curious george of whores
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
