My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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