Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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