Your mouth is God's brothel.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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