yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
