i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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