i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
