We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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