So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
