I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
