Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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