i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
