You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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