He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
