Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
