allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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