you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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