I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
