I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
