I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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