not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
