my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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