Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
