I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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