my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
