I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
