i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
