When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
