Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
