Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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