He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
