We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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