she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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