Only a mothe r could love this liver
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
