He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
