I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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