I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
