When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
