a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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