I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We are all done wearing pants today
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
