well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
