I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
