Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize