Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
