talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
