Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
